Word Association

Seeds weeds deeds mead Alfred Hitchcock dead clock Edgar Allan Poe Edith Wharton Elizabeth Taylor in the library with Colonel Sanders and a secret blend of herbs and spices,

cigarette vices on the end of the pin barrel table with the proper leverage we can spring free of this

isn’t freedom brother whatever you throw out comes back at you brother good or bad better or worse richer for poorer in sickness and in hell we masturbate on the kitchen table and save it for later au jus.

One time at band-camp she drank his come from a shot glass in front of his friends because they didn’t believe that she would do it another time she licked it off his bed sheets when they were through,

he has a way of bringing out the nasty in a girl the sick twisted side of her perversion is more than the Catholic church can handle all that and a bag of potato chips

you can substitute fries for that it’s another two dollars but no additional service charges or fees apply standard shipping rates and postage stamps, Potter is offering fifty cents on the dollar it’s better to get half than none at all,

Buckingham Palace and Courtney Love Britney Spears dill pickles.

He likened a kosher deli being forced to serve ham with Catholic institutions being forced to provide the option of birth control on their employees’ government-funded health insurance,

Viagra is okay because boners are a medical need but access to preventative reproductive health care is not because he don’t know nothing bout birthing babies,

in the good old boys-club gals used to put a bottle of aspirin between their knees and sailors out at see for a year at a time never engage in homosexual activity don’t ask don’t tell because we are scared of gay people as if they’re all secretly fiending to turn us away from God’s back like a pack of rabid alley dogs.

Poster hogs for childhood obesity epidemic in this country but pizza is now servable as a vegetable on school lunches, look Ma no hands crack in my jaw I hope it don’t dissolve my future like baking soda,

now kids don’t try this at home these are professional Jackasses being fish-hooked and riding shopping carts off the roof of Peter Griffin’s house and his spine is sticking out like stegosaurus scales—is this bad?

Is it bleeding on the inside? Donny bit his lip jumping on the bed he cracked his head on the ceiling the first female President of Finland tells American women you can break the glass above you too

but she doesn’t want quotas she doesn’t what that on our shoulders that maybe we are there just because we are a woman not because we are the most qualified person for the job.

The Americans with Disabilities Act stated that the county courthouse build a wheelchair ramp and they finally did two years later but the only water fountain is on the second floor to which there is no ramp or elevator,

now and later grape flavor is the best it’s the only artificial grape I’ve tasted that doesn’t remind me of cough syrup,

mental stirrups on our stocking feet and hidden by our tennis shoes, the walking blues, bedevil me, riddle me this a sphincter in a cold shaft,

santorum in the bathtub all over his waterproof three speed vibrating banana phone this shit is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s the summer that that song came out I heard it play ten times in an eight hour guard shift, Jason and I almost shit ourselves from across the pool when we realized it had been on more than once in an hour

glass pouring sand metallic rain on the window pane it’s all the same it’s all been said before I am beating a dead horse like an old lady with her purse until I hurt myself sometimes because you touch yourself at night if you keep doing that you’ll go blind.

He thinks the Pope went soft when he asked for peace talks between Israel and Palestine.

What happened to the good old crusading game days of master shit proportions?  Machiavelli liked the ladies and so did Ben Franklin I’m pretty sure everyone was being sexual just fine until they had to start defining different kinds,

and every word has some kind of stigma attached to it, we all have these preconceived notions of what a relationship is supposed to be and that’s why monogamy is a fat joke, why men fuck goats, the Men Who Stare at Goats,

the Venice moat is full of waste it’s really quite rancid I’m fond of answering questions with another question even thought I know rhetorically speaking it’s not proper etiquette but double standards have never deterred me before why the monkey should I start now? my afternoon delight Will Ferrell chorus in the news room,

if you watch this bank commercial closely you can see Jimmy Fallon’s soul die right there when he says he’ll clean all this up but who doesn’t want more money? This cute baby in a highchair says no! and throws Cheerios in his face it’s fucking hilarious I guess advertising works in some sense except for the fact that I can’t remember which bank exactly it was for not like it really matters

but every time I go into Bank of America to deal with my checking account they try to talk me into opening a savings account and I always say no not today as if I will some day in the future I’d rather kick this Depression under the mattress style old school new school they school

we real cool we play pool the red wheelbarrow can suck on these lemons and high fructose corn syrup now lets make babies and replace all the water with Gatorade it’s what plants crave Multi-pass hybrid all wheel drive plug it in plug it in Johnson & Johnson a family company,

I saw this documentary made by one of their heirs it’s the great or grandson of one of the original Johnsons and he’s all confused about what he should do since money is no object he goes around interviewing other wealthy young adults all of them products of exorbitant trust funds and basically what he’s trying to say is it ain’t easy being rich but seriously? That’s like let them eat cake Let Detroit Go Bankrupt but now Mitt loves Michigan because the state is shaped like a him and all the trees are the right height,

the traffic lights turn blue tomorrow, Butch Cassady and the Sundance Kid go running blind into the suburban night ruckus jackals come to pick the lion’s leftovers—