You Look Like I Need a Drink

My father would find this sacrilege: putting ice into my beer, but they've been sitting in the cooler since two thousand miles ago and they were straight hot. i thought i would want them at the end of a long day of driving but all i wanted was sex and sleep, both of which were much needed and appreciated.  drinking alone is highly underrated, especially when unpacking, which is always harder that packing, the excitement gone and replaced with sadness about the way your clothes used to fit into your closet at home. you can arrange them the same: jackets, skirts, dresses, shirts, but it's still different.  the walls are waning instead of red and i found a red flask in my suitcase that i forgot about. i've lost myself and found some of me scattered across the country, much of me in Colorado, the next greatest majority in Baltimore, sitting on the rocky lip of Sparrows Point, the orange lights reflecting on the black water, black eyed susan nonchalantly pissing on the edge of oblivion as i make small talk with a former Russian lover, our most recent tryst being utterly disappointing.  the problem was that we always did it mad drunk and this was the first time we fucked sober and it sucked.  I know part of my memory is blurred from the alcohol so maybe i invented some of the awesomeness but i also know more of me comes out after a few beverages. i become some kind of less glorious, cornered Aphrodite.  I own up to it more now, stroking my own ego, my metaphorical cock hanging below my knees, which is really unnecessary as i'm pretty sure no cunt in this world or the next could swallow all of that meat.  speaking of anatomy, my friend john the other day found a tick attached to his left nut sac, no kidding i cannot make this shit up, that's what you get for walking around with a hole in the crotch of your pants. do not drink strawberry beers. i just tried one for the first time and it sucked dick, such becoming language for a young lady isn't it? another transgression of etiquette, I poured all but one sip down the bathroom sink.